Teen Dating Violence: His Take

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Oh February, the month of love. With all the chocolate, roses, and sappy cards being tossed about during Valentine’s Day today, it’s also important to keep in mind that relationships are dynamic and aren't necessarily always bunnies and rainbows. It takes tenderness, flexibility, and respect to make them work. With that in mind, February is now known as the national Teen Dating Violence Prevention and Awareness Month!

Alright, alright, on the real, there are way too many “Insert Random Cause Here Months” for anybody to keep track of, but if there's one that's necessary, it has to be this one. Consider:

  • Nearly one-half of adult sex offenders report committing their first sexual offenses prior to the age of 18.
  • In 9 out of 10 rapes in which the offender is under 18, so is the victim.
  • Violent relationships in adolescence can have serious ramifications for victims: Many will continue to be abused in their adult relationships and are at a higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior, and suicide.
  • 77% of female and 67% of male high school students endorse some form of sexual coercion, including unwanted kissing, hugging, genital contact, and sexual intercourse.

 If you have so much as a heartbeat, I think these fast statistics should be enough to get your mind wrapped around how important it is to be aware of teen dating violence in your community. What really got to me was that last one – say what? Girls are more down for unwanted sexual activity more than guys?? And we’re called sex pigs? Fact of the matter is, female-on-male dating violence does happen, and is probably more common than you might think.

Thinking about male-on-female violence seems intuitive when you stop to think about the bevy of media out there, from Big Sean's A$$, to Nelly's Tip Drill, and of course, Tyga's Rack City, showcasing stereotypical male-female relations and complete hypersexualization of the ladies in these portrayals. Not to mention these derogatory tunes are insanely catchy. What might shock you to know, however, is that male and female adolescents have been shown to experience physical dating violence equally!

That said, I think the most important thought to get into your head is that there is no “traditional” form of teen dating violence; it can take multiple forms that we all need to be aware of in our own relationships and that of our friends and family. Whether heterosexual, homosexual, physical, mental, or anything, violence in relationships does happen and can be damaging. I think it’s so crucial everyone – both guys and girls.  - learn how to recognize itso that we can help out if needed.

If you or anyone you know is a victim of dating violence or would like to learn more information, the following websites are good places to start.

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Additional money has been provided by the California Endowment and the American Civil Liberties Union.