Sex shouldn’t hurt your body or your heart. Talk about what you want with your partner.

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We’ve talked about how parents, health providers, and counselors can be great resources for safe sex information, helping you feel ready to become sexually active (or ready to wait!). But what about when you have already had sex, and it hurt? Sex can be painful, physically and mentally/emotionally. This is sad but often true fact.

Luckily, there are lots of ways to deal with a negative sexual experience, and make sure it doesn’t happen again. A few simple ground rules:

  1. Sex means saying “yes”. It doesn’t mean “maybe” or “no” or taking advantage of anyone who is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
  2. If it hurts physically, see a health provider. Go to your local teen clinic and talk to a nurse or doctor. Sometimes it’s just a matter of using more lubricant or changing positions, but pain with sex can be a sign of an STI or other physical problem.
  3. People are super complex. If something about your relationship and/or sexual relationship feels off, or hurts you emotionally, it needs to change. In most cases, honesty is the best policy. Be open with your partner, and try to express yourself clearly and without playing the blame game. You may realize that in the end, it’s more important to protect your heart and mind than it is to continue any negative sexual relationship.

Check out any of the resources below to find more relationship resources: