What's the Deal with Oral Sex?

“Guess what I did last night??” Ana asked in a loud whisper as we sat down at the cafeteria table. Before I could even get a word out she squealed “I gave Joey a blow job!” I stared at her not sure how to respond- was this a good thing? A bad thing? I honestly didn’t know what a blowjob was. I had heard other girls talking about them in the locker rooms, whisper about it in the back of classrooms, and one time Mike asked if I would give him a BJ! I was at a complete loss, I really didn’t have a clue.

After Ana’s revelation I sat there trying to picture her blowing air on Joey.  I couldn’t help but wonder how in the world that was exciting as she continued to ramble on and on about how she and Joey would for sure be going to homecoming together now.

Let me back up so you get the picture - I was a freshman in high school and raised in a really conservative family, I literally knew nothing about sex and even less about oral sex- the whole concept was foreign and cryptic...and well also kinda weird sounding.

I heard people at school talking about it, but I was too nervous to ask questions because I didn’t want people to know how inexperienced I was. One time my health teacher joked that some people actually thought oral sex involves talking. I laughed along with everyone else, but I didn’t get it at the time because what else could ORAL sex possibly mean…?

Flash forward now to my senior year of high school and I think I am starting to get a handle on the whole oral sex thing. Everyone talked about it and everyone claimed to be doing it. As I slowly learned the terms (blow job, BJ, giving head, going down, eating out) I was eager to join in the trend. My first experience though can be described in one word: AWKWARD. I felt like Katy from Mean Girls who was ridiculously naïve upon entering public school for the first time.

I had no idea what I was doing, the guy was hardcore pressuring me, and I just felt so grossed out about it- he expected me to put my mouth down there…WHAT?!

Since then I have come up with 2 conclusions about oral sex:

  1. Not everyone is doing it. People talk about it a lot more than they actually do it. It’s just like any other trend- people want to seem cool, but in reality a lot of other people are scared too. Basically my advice would be to never feel pressured to engage in oral sex because you think it’s the latest and greatest thing.  It may or may not be your cup of tea, that’s up to you to decide on your own, no pressure. That brings my next point…
  2. Oral sex may not be the same as vaginal sex physically but there are a lot of other things that are similar. Newsflash STDs are also a risk like vaginal or anal sex – you can use condoms and dental dams to protect yourself and your partner. And there are real emotions involved. Giving or receiving oral sex can be just as much of an emotional experience- make sure you are ready and you are doing with a partner you trust and feel comfortable with. (FYI Ana and Joey never went to homecoming together and she spent the next 3 months pining for him)

Oral sex can be a great experience, but I highly recommend you don’t rush into anything! Do some research and talk to your parents (or another adult you trust- they actually have useful things to say sometimes). It’s important to get educated before you make a decision. Make sure you talk to your partner too so you feel comfortable- and don’t be afraid to ask questions about logistics or protection!