HookUp tip by Kahmaria, blog by Leslie
Healthy relationships should consist of equality, shared power and mutual respect. However, in order to have all of that, a healthy relationship requires a foundation built on mutual trust and communication.
Why does trust come before communication?
Think about it. Without an established and mutual trust in one another, how can you really talk to your partner about anything, like your opinions on sex or birth control? Trust in a relationship consists of having reliability and confidence in the other person. Trust means being able to talk to your partner about anything and everything without fear of judgment or disagreement. Of course, naturally we’re all inclined to disagree with others’ opinions when they differ from our own, but trust allows the communication process to flow easily.
What does trust look like?
If your relationship is built on trust, that means you can openly share your feelings, thoughts, worries, and aspirations with comfort. In fact, identifying these feelings allows you to reflect on what you care about and what truly matters to you in your relationship so that you are better able to communicate them to your partner. Most importantly, you feel heard and supported when expressing your feelings because you respect each other’s space and each other’s right to be an individual. You give each other time away from each other to spend with friends and family, and don’t feel the need to constantly “check up” on them. These are simply a few characteristics of what healthy relationships look like.
What trust does NOT look like?
Fear. Pressure. Abuse. Lack of trust in a relationship keeps you and your partner from being honest with each other. That could be because you’re afraid of what your partner might think, say, and/or do to you—this is not healthy. Lack of trust could lead to lying to your partner about activities that you do when you’re not around them because you’re afraid you might upset them, or you’re afraid that it might lead to verbal, physical, and/or sexual abuse and coercion. Moreover, constantly accusing or being accused of cheating or “checking in” on a partner via social media are also forms of distrust.