Coming out: noun.the term used by lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people to describe their experience of self-discovery, self-acceptance, openness and honesty about their sexual orientation and their decision to share this with others when and how they choose.
To some, these are the two most nerve-wracking words you could possibly utter. Even the thought of coming out can send you into panic mode, concerned about what will happen after you tell your friends and family about your true sexual preference. Whether you’re lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or even questioning, the fear is pretty universal. Although everyone has worries or concerns unique to their situation, here are some of the more common ones and how to deal with them.
Concern #1: You grew up thinking the “normal” thing to do is to grow up, get married, and have kids. Now, you’re worried you won’t have that “normal” life anymore.
Teddy, from “90210”, also voiced this concern:
Remember: “Normal” is not a clear-cut thing – it’s what you make it. For example, if you feel more comfortable dating people of your own sex, that IS normal for you. Don’t feel that you have to take on a false identity to live a “normal” life.
Concern #2: That your friends or family won’t accept you for who you are, or that they’ll think you’re just going through a phase.
Emily, from “Pretty Little Liars”, had this experience at first:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dri6qIn6UI
But her parents soon realized she wasn’t just “experimenting”, and welcomed her with open arms.
Remember: If your friends and family appear unsupportive at first, it’s not because they don’t accept your sexuality, but because they may have simply been surprised. After knowing someone for so long, you have a pretty solid idea of who they are. Because of this, when you learn something new about them, it just takes some time to wrap your head around it. But don’t worry, if they love you, they will come around.
Concern #3: That someone else will tell your family before you do, making you feel rushed to talk to them about it.
Eric, from “Gossip Girl”, was outed to his family by Georgina:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=or5PUgBUbO4
Remember: Coming out is something extremely personal. It is important to be comfortable with yourself before you tell others about it, and wait until you’re completely ready. Chances are, your friends and family won’t tell others about your “big news” on purpose, especially if you tell them to keep it a secret for the time being.
Coming out can be a very stressful time and if you ever need someone to talk to about this or any other issues, there are many hotlines and programs specifically for LGBTQ callers:
- California Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-843-5200
- Covenant House Nineline Hotline: 1-800-999-9999
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE
- National Runaway Switchboard: 1-800-621-4000