Happy National Coming Out Day!
Today is National Coming Out Day, and in honor of this occasion and Let's Talk Month, check out this Glee clip showing Kurt’s positive experience with being openly gay to his Dad.
Coming out is a very brave thing. Some parents like Kurt’s Dad will be totally great about it, even if you don’t expect them to be. But we know that not all parents will be like Kurt’s Dad, so when you’re ready to come out, here are a few things to think about…
Give your support system that you can confide in a heads-up; these friends/other family members can cheer you up if you feel upset and remind you how wonderful you are.
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Prepare for a "worst case" scenario.
Even though coming out and being open about your sexuality is such an awesome thing, we all know that not everyone is open to the idea of LGBT issues. As a result, if you have any hesitancy about how your parents will react, it is a good idea to have a back-up plan. Is there somewhere you can stay for a while if they are not OK with your being gay? Do you have an alternative place to eat and sleep?
So if you have done all of this and you're ready to be out and proud to your family or other important people in your life, here are some ideas that really helped me!
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Decide on the right time and place.
A special occasion, for example your mom's birthday party, may not be the right time to tell her that you're gay (what if you steal her thunder?). Maybe at home on an afternoon when you're sure you both have a free evening to digest the information is a better environment. It's also important that you are both in a good place. Family arguments or heated discussions are usually not a good time to share such important news.
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Tip:
Another idea that may work for you is to write your parents or loved ones a letter! I had a friend who wrote her mom a long letter explaining exactly how she felt, and gave it to her to read one afternoon. This allowed my friend to think about everything she wanted to write, and it gave her mother time to think about how she felt before they talked in person. Cool right?
What’s your Coming Out story?
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Provide educational materials.
Just like you may have sought information with difficult issues in your life (for example, Teensource for sex-related questions!), providing information for the questions your parents will have is a great way to continue communication. For example, you can give them information on PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization that allows family and friends to support one another and their LGBT-identified loved ones. Or, you can have them go to http://www.glbtq.com/, an online encyclopedia that can answer tons of their questions if they are not familiar with LGBT issues.
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Remain Calm, and Stay Positive.
Some parents are incredibly supportive when their child comes out, and others may feel shocked and upset. Either way, try to remain calm about the situation, and know it will take parents time to adjust to this news about your sexuality. At the same time, remind yourself of how courageous you are to disclose such important information! Continue to surround yourself with the people in your life who love and accept you, and remember that there is a whole community that can relate to what you are going through.