More than, “you look hot”, more than “want to eat some chocolate,” the three words I proclaim to be the sexiest ever tell me that I have communication with my partner, that our health is important, and our common desire is to have a fun time where we both feel comfortable and safe.
Having the safer sex talk with your partner can be awkward, no matter if you’re just hooking up for the night, or have dated the person for a year. There are no real rules, no sentence starters I can give you, because really this is a situation in which you take control to protect yourself. Be clear with what you want for yourself, what you want for your partner, and then talk about it.
There are some of my basic parameters and you will figure out your own:
- Make sure you know and stick to your absolutes, such as wearing a condom.
- Keep the lines of communication open, even during the act.
- No one is entitled to your body. If you are not comfortable, you can always pause and take a moment to figure out your next move.
In my mind, good sex is all about having fun, being safe and feeling comfortable. When someone respects my values and my health, and knows what I like and what I do not like, it will make for a great experience.
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