After so much unspoken sexual tension between Bella and Edward in the first couple Twilight movies, I was eager to see what would happen when they finally ended up in the bedroom. Would they have sex? Would they wait? More importantly, how would that conversation go? Here are some of my reactions to Bella and Edward’s pillow talk in Eclipse. (Spoiler alert!)
- “You said you wanted me to have every human experience. I want you while I’m still me,” says Bella, voicing her desire to have sex with Edward before she becomes a vampire. Wow, a female character being up-front about her sexual desires! It’s rare to find a woman, either on-screen or off-screen, who feels comfortable talking about what she wants sexually. For instance, how often do you hear women chatting about masturbation the way guys do? Kudos to Bella for being direct about her feelings.
- “Believe me, I want to. I just want to be married to you first,” Edward responds. It’s not exactly what Bella wants to hear, but I respect Edward for standing up for his beliefs. It’s hard to say “no” to someone you like and are attracted to, especially if they’re eager to go for it.
So far, so good! They’re being open with each other about their desires and boundaries. But then things get a little weird…
- “It’s too dangerous,” says Edward. Okay, so I get that he’s a vampire and could accidentally hurt her if they decide to have sex. But Edward makes it sound like sex is always perilous. Yes, there are certainly things to watch out for, like STDs and unplanned pregnancy. But with trust, communication, and preparation, sex can be a positive, fulfilling experience, too.
- “It’s not my virtue I’m concerned about... My soul is gone but I want to protect yours,” Edward says, referring to Bella’s virginity. Yikes! This makes it sound like Bella’s “soul” will be ruined forever if they have sex. I’m uncomfortable with the notion that a woman's virginity is something precious that her partner must protect. Women, just like men, have the right to do what they choose with their bodies, whether that means having sex or waiting. Having sex doesn’t make you any less “virtuous.”
- “Will you marry me?” In the end, Bella and Edward disagree about whether or not to have sex that night. So their compromise is… to get married?! Isn’t that a little hasty? They’ve only been dating for a year, and there are already many signs that their relationship is abusive. If they want to stay together, one solution would be to continue dating but to find ways to be intimate that don’t include sex. Why wasn’t that option discussed?
In the end, I don’t really care if Bella and Edward have sex or not. I do care, however, that they discuss the decision together before rushing into anything. Open communication is essential in all relationships, especially when it comes to sex. Everyone has a different set of feelings, desires, boundaries, and beliefs, and it’s important to talk about these things to make sure both people are on the same page. If you and your partner do decide to have sex, it’s also a good idea to talk about details like getting tested, choosing a method of contraception, and preventing the spread of STDs—before things start heating up in the bedroom. Check out these articles for more info: