In high school, when I started going places by myself or with a couple of girlfriends rather than with my parents, it was exciting. Independence! Liberation! And… sexual harassment?
In no time at all, it seemed like every random guy in my neighborhood had something to say about my walking down the sidewalk, despite the fact that I certainly never asked for anyone’s opinion. These days, I’m a runner, and no matter how early I go out, I get some kind of creepy comment at least once a week.
I've always hated it, but I never know what to do about it. When it first happened, I talked about it with my mom. She just sort of shrugged. That’s the way things are, she told me. Thanks? But the responses I got from my guy friends were more interesting because most of them just didn’t get it. Granted, no one told me I should take it as a compliment, but they didn’t think of it as something to get upset about, either. They just didn’t think it meant anything.
Street harassment – which includes catcalling, groping, creepy staring, etc. – can be really complicated and really frustrating. If you’re mad, do you say something back, or do you just stare straight ahead and keep walking? Is there any way to avoid it? What if you do think it’s a compliment? Is that ever okay? And how do you explain all of this to someone who’s never been the victim of street harassment before?
An online video game, Hey Baby, attempts to provide an alternative way to answer this last question. The game is simple: you play as a woman getting harassed by men as you walk the streets of your neighborhood. When they catcall, you can either thank them politely or shoot them with the huge gun you’re carrying.
Despite its simplicity and gratuitous violence, what I love about Hey Baby as a concept is that it recognizes that the people who really have the power to stop street harassment are the ones doing the catcalling. Most harassers are men, and Hey Baby uses a medium many guys are familiar with – video games – to get a point across that’s really hard to explain just in words. For one reviewer, it seemed like a light bulb went on somewhere in his brain when he played it:
[That] is the point of Hey Baby. The men cannot ever actually hurt you, but no matter what you do, they keep on coming, forever. The game never ends. I found myself throwing up my hands and thinking, “Well what am I supposed to do?” Which is, of course, what countless women think every day.
So where is the line between saying “Hey, sweetheart” and “Baby, I could blow your back out”? Is there one?
I doubt any noninteractive art form could have given me as visceral an appreciation for what many women go through as part of their day-to-day lives.
As long as catcalling is seen as harmless or funny, then no matter how empowered I feel about my sexuality, every time I go outside, I go knowing that someone might try to take this feeling away from me, and I hate that. But I can’t just expect everyone else to magically know what I’m thinking. Hey Baby could be a good way to start a conversation with people who think catcalling is no big deal. If you can get to the people who would potentially be street harassers and make them not want to do it, maybe we can all walk down the street in peace.
H/t to the excellent The Line Campaign blog.