If you’re planning on having sex with your partner soon and you’ve gotten tested and are using birth control, congratulations! But before you get ready to turn the lights down, have a talk about sex and boundaries.
Some people are embarrassed or nervous to talk about sex with their partner, even if they have had sex before. It’s OK to be nervous, but it’s also important to still talk about it.
Communicating with your partner builds trust and respect for one another. Here are some tips to help you get the conversation going:
- Talk with yourself first. Before you have a discussion with the person you’re having sex with, understand your own body and learn your personal boundaries. Sometimes we can get caught up in the whole idea of having sex, and we forget to think about what we want for ourselves. Think about your own limits and expectations for your sex life.
- Choose a good time and place. You and your partner are more likely to be honest with each other if you both feel comfortable and relaxed. Choose a time and place outside of the bedroom to ease into the conversation, like when sitting on the couch or taking a walk.
- Let your partner know how you feel. Being honest with your partner about sexual feelings, likes, and dislikes can improve your sex life and other aspects of your relationship. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to sexual activities. Just because you have sex doesn’t mean you have to be open to all types of sex.
If you have talked about sex with your partner and they are not respectful of your boundaries, you may want to hold off on having sex. Learn more about healthy relationships.
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