When we hear the word pleasure, a lot of us might instantly think of one thing—masturbation. When talked about masturbation typically is only described as touching one’s genitals (penis or vulva) in ways that provide sexual pleasure). But here’s the deal: pleasure comes in all shapes and forms. It’s more than just our narrow definition of masturbation. It’s actually about learning what feels good for you, in your body, on your terms.

Pleasure could be anything from wearing your comfy sweats, to munching on your favorite sweet treat, to blasting music in your room. Sexual pleasure can be included in those ideas of self-pleasure.

What Is Sexual Self-Pleasure?

Sexual self-pleasure is its own unique feeling. Masturbation can include more than just touching genitals, and sexual self-pleasure can include more than masturbation. People have the right to experience and explore what feels right for them.

There are more ways to experience sexual self-pleasure than just touching the genitals (penis/vulva). Other sensations people might explore could include:

• Touching different parts of the body that might experience good sensations
• Using pleasure enhancing tools or body safe objects to stimulate the body
• Playing and exploring with different senses

Your brain is actually one of your biggest pleasure tools. Exploring with curiosity, not pressure is key.

Why Do People Masturbate?

There are many reasons someone might explore self-pleasure—and all of them are valid. Here are just a few:

• It feels good!
• It helps relieve stress or physical tension
• It can help with menstrual cramps/abdominal cramps
• It’s a way to learn more about your body
• It can be relaxing or help pass the time
• It might help you feel more connected to yourself
• It’s a way to experience an orgasm in a safe, private way
• It carries no risk of pregnancy or STIs

Who might engage in self-pleasure?

Everybody! People of all ages, genders, abilities, sexualities, ethnicities, cultures, religions, and relationship statuses have the right to experience pleasure and explore it through sexual pleasure

A few things to know

• What feels good one day might not feel the same the next—and that’s totally normal.
• Self-pleasure doesn’t have to lead to orgasm. Sometimes it’s just about feeling good in the moment.
• How your body responds can change based on mood, energy, stress, or even just what’s going on in your life. No one is the same all the time.

While masturbation is a totally normal and natural activity to explore someone might have conflicting feelings about it. Reasons this could come up:

• Stigma and shame: There tends to be a lot of negative beliefs about sexual self-pleasure. This can make enjoying self-pleasure feel like it’s shameful, wrong, or not normal. These ideas can come from a variety of places like school, family, religion, or others. Sometimes experiencing a traumatic situation can also bring up feelings of shame too. Contrary to these negative messages, pleasure is a normal part of life.
• Lack of familiarity with self-pleasure: Not that many people learn or think about sexual pleasure as part of their sexual health. This can mean that some people don’t talk about pleasure in general. Wanting to experience and learn more about one’s body is normal and a great way to grow the connection to one’s self.

What can help navigate these feelings?

• Add pleasure to your everyday life. Enjoying small, non-sexual joys—like basking in the sun, laughing, or drinking your fav bevy. This is a reminder that pleasure is something that you deserve and you are allowed to experience things that make you feel good. Building up this feeling with non-sexual interactions can help when you want to put more energy into your sexual self-pleasure.
• Being kind to yourself. The relationship you have with yourself is one of the most important. Learning and exploring what pleasure looks like for you is ongoing.

So, here’s your reminder: you’re allowed to feel good. You’re allowed to explore. You’re allowed to take care of yourself in whatever way feels right and safe for you. Take some time this month to tune into what pleasure looks like for you.