Ready or Not- Checking in

So far we have heard four people’s stories of their first times. While these stories are about people we know, I think that most of us can relate to the different experiences or feelings expressed.

These stories helped me to understand that sex can be about much more than the physical act itself.

The feelings that sex can stir up are actually very complex. When you feel close to someone sometimes it’s hard to stick to your ideals or stand up for yourself. Those things can fly out the window in the heat of the moment.  Usually this is because we are afraid that if we say how we really feel the other person will not like or love us anymore. However, real love is about respecting each other’s wishes and decisions.

When you are confident in yourself and have trust in your partner you are more likely to feel safe and satisfied. Often times when we succumb to pressure ultimately we feel like we let ourselves down. That can lead to beating yourself up with regret and sadness.  It can lead you to a place of feeling dark about yourself and the world.

It sounds cheesy, but it’s true that standing up for yourself is very empowering –no  matter if you are deciding to wait or making sure a condom is used every time. You are the supreme ruler of your own body. You decide if and when you are ready. The decision to wait is a real and good option for many. Whether it’s waiting a few more months or a few years, only you know what’s right for you.

Everyone makes mistakes and that is not only ok, but can be a great way to learn about yourself and the things that are important to you. Intimate relationships bring up questions you may have never considered, like:

  • Is waiting important to me?
  • What do I want to do with my future?
  • Do I share my parent’s values?
  • What are my values?

This is all part of the process of getting to know yourself. 

In the next month we will be sharing more teen’s stories and perspectives, I can’t wait to hear what they have to say!