Sex is normal and fun, but not everyone is ready for it, which is totally OK!
HookUp tip by Angelica, blog by Leslie
What is Abstinence?
Abstinence, or restraining from any type of sex, is the only 100% effective way to prevent the transmission of STDs, as well as unplanned pregnancy. Abstinence can means different things for different people, however. You may hear some people express abstinence as not having vaginal sex, or penetrative intercourse, and still practice other sexual activities like oral or anal sex. It's important to know that oral and especially anal sex come with health risks though, including the transmission of STDs.
What are the advantages of practicing abstinence?
Different people have different reasons for choosing to abstain from sex. When deciding what's right for you, it is important to identify the impact that the positive and negative consequences of either decision may have on you, and to identify what truly matters to YOU. What do YOU care about? Here are some of the positive things that come along with waiting to have sex:
- Pregnancy and STD/STI prevention
- More time to focus on school, extra-curricular activities, family, and friends
- More time to spend quality time with your romantic partner doing other things like exploring your city, going dancing, or going to concerts
What are the disadvantages of practicing abstinence?
Again, all of these advantages/disadvantages can vary from person to person. It's not easy to abstain from sex, especially when you are in a healthy relationship with someone you love. Sex is a wonderful thing and an intimate experience to share with someone you love and trust, but it's important that you make the right decision for you when you are ready and take the necessary precautions to reduce yo and your partner's risks for unintended pregnancy and STDs.
How do I talk to my partner about practicing abstinence?
Talking to your partner about your decision to abstain from sexual activity is an important conversation to have, especially when there is a common misconception that everyone is having sex. In fact, NOT EVERYONE is having sex. It’s best to talk to talk to your partner openly about your feelings and attitudes regarding having a sexual relationship. Remember, trust is one of the most important parts of having a healthy relationship. Trust consists of being straightforward and honest with each other about everything, including your views on sex, even if they’re different!
Take some time to yourself and consider what you truly want your partner to understand. Say it to yourself and practice out loud or in front of a mirror. It’s important to do this beforehand so that when it comes to addressing your partner about it, you’re able to hold your ground. Know that being “ready” is different for everyone and no one should force you into doing something you don’t want to do. There are many way to begin the sex conversation with your partner, don’t be afraid!